Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Crap Happens

Like most dogs, mine love to roll in crap.  Chicken crap, cat crap, horse crap, crap crap.  They don't necessarily go looking for a fresh steaming pile but if they happen to stumble onto one they dive in, snout first. Come to think of it, an old dry one will work too, they're not picky, just opportunists. 

They'll sniff the guano for a minute and then dump their front end over so that one shoulder is smashed smack in the middle of it.  With their hind end still in the air, they propel themselves forward through the excrement, making sure to get the shoulder and side smeared up nicely before flopping the hind-end down.  Then, they'll roll over to their back, rub that in real good before standing up to smash the other shoulder in to make the job complete. 

Sometimes they'll even make a meal of the crap they stumble upon.  Then they trot over to me with a pleased grin on their face and want a kiss and a pet.  (Huh, I wonder if that's where the phrase "crap-eating grin" originated. . .)

Yep, my dogs love to wallow in the crap that happens in their lives.  Apparently, so do I.

Here's a list of the crap I've been wallowing in lately:

(Cue weepy violin music)

  • My good dog died. 
  • My good horse had to have double knee surgery.
  • My sixty year old plumbing is leaking.
  • My pipes keep freezing.
  • My toilet won't stop running even though I've replaced the ball/cock/flapper thing-a-ma-bobbers twice.
  • Did I mention my plumbing is sixty years old??
  • My roommate used to be my best friend but now all we do is fight.
  • My job has had stipulations put on it recently that make it less than ideal.
  • A kid in my fifth period class drives me nuts.
  • My good friend, who is also the breeder of my dogs, has bladder cancer.
  • My team lost in the playoffs and shouldn't have.
  • The team I used to coach is going to state.
  • The big 3-0 is lurking around the corner and I'm still single.
  • Did I mention my sweet Mekka died??

I realized this morning, in the middle of an especially grand pity party, that I've been wallowing in the poop of my life just like my dogs.  Except for one very important difference, I wasn't finding the experience to be a positive one.

Instead, I've been doing this: 

Yep, that's me. One big ole, snotty-nosed, swollen-eyed, lip-quivering cry baby. 

Well, no more.  I'm tired of being whiney and bitchy and I'm certain the people around me are tired of hearing me whine and bitch. 

It's time for a 'tude adjustment.

The way I look at it, I have two choices:

1.  I can wallow continually in the crap and hate the smell of myself.


2.  I can take a quick roll, then get up and approach the rest of the day with a grin on my face. . . .even though there's poo in my hair.

I choose #2.

Mark that down as yet another lesson I learned from my animals. 

Eu de poo-poo anyone??


  1. DB has been telling me all day "Change your attitude, change your life." Yes, I've been complaining about the "job stipulations" again. So I'm guessing she talked to you also lol.

    I love this. And I love you. We need a good glass of wine and a porch talk. :)

  2. Ha! Perfect timing! Nope, DB hasn't imparted that piece of wisdom on me yet today but I'm probably next on her list :).

    Love you too!